Life’s goal

The Raison d'être of life is to achieve. This might insinuate everyone has to achieve something worthy in his life: I am not denying it; however, I would go further to say one has to keep on achieving in every stage of his life; every year, every month and so on. This brings to an even further important quest: what to achieve; what is the goal.

There are stages in life when the goal is pretty obvious during that phase and hence no intellectual introspection is required for most. This generally applies till one completes his studies; some really excel in this part of life and get to a professional career of choice.

Once into the career which he has painstakingly gotten into after so many years of studies and other related activities, does he really believe whether the career he is into is worthy of all the goals so far in his life? Doubtful. The goals then shift to reaching “a particular level” in the organizational hierarchy, own a house, raise a family, international vacations etc. Depending on multiple variables, all these can be achieved over a period of time as long as he does not fritter away opportunities coming his way and does not keep goals beyond his reach. Now what next?

The next stage is the one where the goal is to look for a goal. Now the person looks beyond him or within him. Some get involved in social activities – not because they become more concerned about the society than before, but just because they need a goal. Some start exploring spiritual thoughts and get lessons like “living in the present” is the key, fitness of the mind and body etc. No complaints, but what is the goal here: the person is trying to find happiness within him in the latter or provide contentment/happiness to others in the former.

In the three broad compartments of life mentioned above, there are three distinct goals, not one of them linked to the other. The above division of life is just an example: a person can have any number of stages in his life and that many different goals. Nonetheless, what strikes me is the huge inconsistency in targets as we move along in life. If anything, I would prefer a single goal to have in life right through. The sub-targets in each stage should lead one step closer to that single goal.

What can be that one thing worthy enough to be a goal? Since it is one’s life in question, the goal should be such that it demands more on moving closer and be a mirage in a positive sense. The goal should be something which upon achieving a portion makes one want more of it. What can be that goal? Two things come to my mind that can fit this description: Money and Happiness.

Remember we are thinking about a goal from childhood to old age. Can money be the goal in the early stages of life: not possible. Hence, the only possible goal to have is happiness. All the achievements we target are tools towards this goal; but in pursuit of the tools, most of us lose sight of the goal. It is time we take efforts to change.

Be happy: that is life’s only worthy goal.

To be continued.

50 things

Wish there was someone who gave such guidance to me before my college days...
50 Things

Career Destruction

I do not remember knowing any better career decimating crime than this: Anti-kidnapping consultant kidnapped in Mexico. I wonder what the kidnapped guy does once he is freed; I suggest him to call himself a victim of credit crunch – no one questions and if he is big (uff..if he is more than 6 feet tall), probably, some Governments may even give him nice compensation package.

Elsewhere, a president says, “I do not know what the man told, but I could see his sole (read: soul?)”. I think lots of things could have been different had he seen people's soul a lot earlier.

Ponderings - revisited

In The Fountainhead, the protagonist Howard Roark says, “the last thing I expect for my work is appreciation”. Why can’t we be like that? This “we” surely includes yours truly. Though many of us bark as though we are Roarks, most of us are not. I have not seen a single Roark in my life. After all, The Fountainhead is a work of fiction.

Why do we expect others to evaluate us? Why do we want our works to be recognized by others? Why do we want others to hold us in high esteem? Why we, sometimes, become charlatans? Why do we do things just to impress others, while we ourselves do not like to do them? Why are we not ready to accept others’ superiority over us in some fields? Why we try to ape the ones we consider superior to us? Why many of us do not know what we want out of life?

Questions abound. Answers to each of these questions are available. Some of them told by the Krishnas, some by the Buddhas, some by the Ayn Rands, some in religious scriptures and some even in movies. But the whole issue is why are we not having a lucid understanding of these questions though we have a lot of answers.

Of course, man is a social animal. So he should give due diligence to gregarious commitments. But is it advisable to let those affect or determine his individual character? Yes, societal onus on an individual makes him not to indulge in unlawful/unethical/unhealthy practices “when others are around”. But if such falsity prevails within our self, what benefit we derive from the society’s applause.

Of the above questions, I consider the last one to be the most basic and most important which is being ignored high time by us. Not many of us can visualize our lives ten years down the line – of how we want our lives to be, what(or who) would make us happy. If we know what we want out of life, we can act towards that target – take tiny little steps in that journey, every dawn we move closer to that target...I understand, I am sounding Utopian.

I recently came across an article in wikipedia which discussed about the Seven Cardinal Sins. Though a bit far-fetched, I relate the questions raised above to these seven sins. The seven sins are Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Jealousy, Anger and Pride. Please do not ask me, how we could relate each one of these sins to the questions raised. After all, I do not commit any of these seven sins (Sin number 7: Pride)

My Principles in Life

I am not a Buddha or someone who can give Gyan to others, but following are my sets of principles that ensures I am not disturbed and I do not disturb others (even though I may not make others happy)

1. All are equal - no person is superior to another. A master is not superior to his servant, a husband is not superior to his wife, a father not superior to his sons, a son not superior to his father - all are equal, all are individuals, this is my first and foremost principle

2. Respect others' opinion - you are an individual, the other person is an individual - read principle 1

3. Listen when others talk - you have some knowledge, you have lots to learn from others. How much ever you know, the sum total of others' opinions is many times more than your knowledge. Re-read principles 1 and 2.

4. Be clear on what you want out of life - this is something that has to be constant throughout one's life, not a fickle wish that keeps on changing as time passes by

5. Live for you first - First make yourself happy, if you cant make yourself happy, you cant make others happy. Life is not cinema. I feel both happiness and bitterness are contagious. If you are happy, you spread the happiness. If you are grudging and resenting, you spread the same feeling.

6. Express your feelings - express both happiness and ill-feelings. But the degree of expression for happiness should be lot more than that of ill-feelings and resentment

7. Be in other person's shoes - Whenever in dispute, think from the point of view of the other person. It may be impractical but it will solve a lot of problems

8. You are a human being - You are just a human, you do not have supernatural powers. Read principle 1. Others know to take care of themselves. If there is a problem between a second person and a third person, it is their problem and not - should not be - yours. Others know to take care of themselves or make a fool of themselves

9. Be confident - Be consistent (across people and time) and you can look at any person's eyes and say anything you want, else you cannot even stand in front of a person who can do so.

10. Be the change you want to see in life - don’t expect others to change for you. Don’t expect anything from others

Out of Cash

This is the first time after a really long time I am out of cash. I have exactly 40+ rupees in my wallet and nothing more and no possibility of getting more for at least two weeks. Thanks to my selective amnesia of forgetting the last digit of my 4-digit PIN and a cash deposit at the bank last week I have totally run out of cash.

The last time I had to look at the content of my wallet (or my trouser pocket) before I proceeded to spend was during my standard XII (Year 2ooo!), now after 7 years, doing my MBA, I am in a similar state. In fact, I like this condition when I look at the same old 10-rupee note with a lot more reverence. Suddenly, the rupee has appreciated in its value with respect to me. This really has taken me back to my good old school days where a "note" of rupee made me feel like a millionaire - I would have got 2 Rasnas, 2 Sodas, 4 Caramilk toffees and 2 fruit ice cakes - with the Rs.10!!

The present situation has become quite complicated because of a grid-based debit card which my bank ICICI has sent to my home and which has been promptly cut into 4 pieces by my father assuming it was the usual additional redundant card sent by a bank. So the exact month of expiry of validity is not known to any of us and this happens to be mandatory to get a new PIN from the ICICI bank call center. I have to wait till the courier containing the PIN reaches my home. No doubt, I will be back to my normal ways of a heavy wallet once I get my PIN back.

Considering my situation, the concept of "time value of money" can be temporarily rewritten as a rupee today is worth lot more than it was yesterday, at the same time the rupee today is worth more than it would be tomorrow. So, the present is not the same future to the past as the future is to the present!

Should they be happy?

This is the last month in the XLRI campus for most of my seniors. There are two possible sets of people: Those who feel happy as they would be completing their MBA course and heading into the corporate world with fat pay cheques; Those who are sad as they would be leaving the place where they probably would have spent the best times of their lives. There is also a third set who do not know how to react and do not even realize they would be leaving the campus in a month and spend their last month too in the same way they have spent the previous 20 months. During the completion of my Engineering at Anna University, I was part of the third set. I did not realize that college life is coming to an end and once it did close, there was a sort of vacuum felt as I was not really prepared for it.

The situation is even more daisy considering the fact that the placements happen after the completion of term 6. There would be immense amount of anxiety for the seniors as to where they are headed and want that anxiety to get over as soon as possible. At the same time, the campus life would be over by that time.

Blessed are those who have landed in plum jobs and get to stay in campus with only memories to gather in the last month!

Back to Square One

Many posts in this blog
It was one event that ushered me to blog
You may browse more to see the tsunami
Its effect was short-lived
Now for sure it has no life
The only one I liked since junoon
Got into a tussle thanks to mongers
In this fateful gap I found a dream
Guided to another
Got to it, I am among the cream
Really in a role many dream
Though dormant for more than a year
I didnt change my first dream
Now I have to
I am not sad
I am not bad either
Let everyone be happy
I think focus without proximity
And Windows without Office are same
How should I react
To myself
I dont know, should ponder more
The first June to December out of home
I tend to remember if I try to forget
Should you sympathise
Should you be indifferent
I am clueless
Nothing was there
Nothing is there
Not all dreams come true
I need to dream more

December 26 - A Tsunami

26, you can’t get a more fateful and earthquake-prone date.
It was a long night on the Christmas day, reason, birthday of a cousin. Engulfed with near and dear ones in another cousin’s house, twelve struck, cakes swallowed, pesticides gulped, clicks thundered. A person who has come on a vacation could not ask for a better moment. After the revelry with cakes, a nice conversation germinated. The first topic to crop out was how Infosys has grown, the returns of a person who had invested 150 in 1992(3) when Infosys offered shares first time. This figure of 150 came up as it was the price of a saree which one person in the conversation has gifted to another one. Had that 150 was given as shares, many such sarees could have been gifted. A good little posthumous sigh. The topic then drifted on to who is the best contributor to tamil film industry, many names came up: Ilayaraja, Rajini, Kamal, Vikram, SPB, Surya, Vijay, Chimbu and even Dhanush. This discussion was going on fine, I had a rather vicarious participation. Talks about Ilayaraja and Kamal was going on and suddenly I was playing guitar and singing ‘The Escape’, the Enrique Iglesias number, to an audience at HSS.

Bell rang. My aunt opened the door for the maid. It’s morning.

Half asleep, I was having a nice giggle with the engagements of the day. No, I was not thinking about the treat which the birthday baby is giving, it was something else. A thing of lot more vanity. Again a small nap. Bell rang, this time it was the imported cordless phone. Least bothered to pick it up, faking sleep I was expecting some one else to pick. It was picked up, no sooner than 9 to 10 rings. Still I was ‘sleeping’. The matter talked made me break the cocoon of faked sleep. Reason, we had had an earthquake!!! I was irritated that I could not experience it. Woke up. Officially.

People around me were talking about the earthquake. No one in the family felt it, possibly most were sleeping and the one who was awake did not feel it, possibly because she was combing her hair. A strange reason. The most vociferous was the maid. Spoon-stand rattled, doors swung, vertiginous sensation, scary. She told. I was reminded of my faked sleep.

I rushed back to my home at 830. This was to get ready for the ‘interesting’ activity I was going to complete at Devi. Pulsar DTSi, you can’t get a more responsive bike on a Sunday morning traffic. Home sweet home.

Heard my parent’s version of the earthquake. Thought some extra-terrestrial force is trying to foil the day’s engagements. First movie along with a goodfriend by the name Sruthi and College Re-union. My next company was ‘the best a man can get’. Mirror. Pimples. Oh God. A bit depressed. Slightly lit up by the hot water in the tub. The best set of dresses I could get. A dabble with Calvin Klein. Ready for the day.

Time was 0930. Top ten movies and home-made dosas. A combination I missed for more than 6 months. 1010. An outgoing call. A ten-minutes time was requested. Adrenaline rushing. Parents were talking with our neighbour, an aaj tak reporter. Water had come to Thiruvanmiyur, it would come to Besant nagar next. I was reminded of the railway time table. Left home at 1020.

A small walk and reached the Sruthi's house. Every one there was glued to Sun News. I too joined them. A news channel can’t get any thing better than an earth quake (the term tsunami was not known then). Offer of tiffin. Coyly rejected. Her father asked about the show timing, eleven was the reply. A casual talk about the Sunday traffic. 1045. We started. Happy. Elated. Vanity

Walked for some 100 metres, called for an auto. The auto-driver asking 60, no haggling. A nice talk about her acquaintance with Chennai. Not very high. The poor soul did not know even Devi theatre. Another Small banter. RMKV, Qwiky’s, Gemini flyover, Thousand lights, Spencer’s, Amma college. We were superficially mulling about M.Kumaran s/o Mahalakshmi and Sagar, a guy who used to accompany her to a summer training in some part of Chennai, Thiruvanmiyur I guess. A nice little emotion coming up. Is it jealousy? Is it longing? Is it possessiveness? Reason I could not muster. Higginbothams. Signal. Left turn. People running frantically. Autos parked on the road side. Every eye was on the swollen cooum. Our auto also parked by the side. I looked down the turgid river. Never seen any thing like that before. I have not seen a single flowing river for the whole of my life till then. Got even more titillated. What better matter a guy can talk to a girl in their second tryst. Devi theatre. 1100.

We were waiting for Shankar to join. She was trying to contact her friends in Thiruvanmiyur. She talked about some weird “ahs and oohs” heard from the other side of the phone when she tried to contact that person some time back. Mood was light again. I was having a college re-union on that day evening at the Elliott’s beach. I was wondering about what would happen to that proposed meeting. A phone call to one of my friend who had arranged the re-union. He asserted that the meeting was definitely on. We were unaware of the gravity of the situation then. Meanwhile, she made a call to her home and told the cooum experience. Shankar. Shankar. Where are you? I was not an expectant friend, I thought he would not turn up, courtesy the earth quake. The verb ‘thought’ can be replaced with ‘hoped’. A typical guy’s mind. Two guys on yamaha, did some bike trick near us. A small laugh. My driving skill was lightly talked about. TVS victor, red colour, Shankar.

Shankar joined us. I remember the old adage about Lord Siva and an animal related to stock market. We were waiting to get in. It was 1115. The show was only at 1145. A nice little chat about nothing. Doors opened. Going to Devi paradise, in tune with its name, we had to climb, rather walk on a ramp to the third floor.

Little super star. Apart from the few moments at the beginning of the movie, when I did not know how to react in a girl's company, the experience of the movie was one to cherish, at least till the next movie with her. There were lot of scenes to laugh about in the movie, especially Jyotika’s initial ones. I personally liked the song, ‘Manmathaney nee kalaignan thaan’ very much. I liked both the music and the lyrics. Lyrics would be even more liked by a girl. I enjoy it by swapping the genders. I got a rather funny sms during the movie. It was from Saravanan, my college mate. It went like this. ‘Yedir paaraatha sambavangalaal indru maalai kadarkaraiyil nadakka iruntha re-union Shakes & creamsil (a hangout near our college) nadai perum. Podhu makkal peethi adaiya vendam endru kettu kolllappadugiraargal’. Movie again. ‘Kaadhal valarthen’ song was also very good. We had some good fun when jyotika was dancing like there is no tomorrow in the song ‘en aasai mythiliye’. The End. We started back home.

Reached her home. An expected enquiry about the movie. Non-plussed about the possible answer I could give. Reason is obvious. Sruthi praised the movie, to repeat her words, 'it is like an English movie: serial killing'. I gave a rather diplomatic reply and gazed the TV for the latest tsunami update. Suddenly she came with a small gift. It looked small. It was 1515. We had the college re-union at 1600. So had to leave. Home.

No one was there. Every one had gone to the treat which the birthday baby gave at Saravana Bhavan. I had to wait 10-15 minutes. Opened the gift. A gold plated designer table clock. Honestly, I was stunned. I did not expect a gift so good. Ecstatic. Tried to call her back. I wanted to let her know the extent of my happiness and ecstasy. No response. An equally enthusiastic sms was composed and sent. No response. I was not unhappy.

1545. Santro xing entered. Reluctant to show the gift to others. I sneaked in, talked about the reverse-flowing cooum and left within 5 minutes to shakes & creams. First to reach there. One by one people accrued. 1645. Had a nostalgic feeling when we entered shakes & creams. Saravanan was the cynosure of all the comments because of the exchange of some sms messages exchanged in the past month among the friends. Had a nice round of pizza, ice-creams, milk shakes. Suddenly a phone call to Yokesh. The message was weird. A 19 metre high tide is coming towards chennai shore, so get back home soon. Some of the friends were planning to go to Elliott’s beach, trying to be adventurous. Bill was paid. Some went towards beach, not sure they went till beach. Reached home around 1845.

It was new, news and news for the remainder of the day. Sun news, NDTV, BBC, Headlines today, Sun news, NDTV…Scores of people were reported dead. I am not sure whether the feeling in the mind was one of sympathy. It was something else. I did not feel bad for the human tragedy. A bit enthused by the fact that I will be the cynosure of questions and attraction when I get back to Gurgaon. Of couse, I am humanitarian. Huge number of deaths were reported from Srilanka, Nagapattinam. At that time, the number of deaths from Indonesia was considerably less. Even one of my relative staying in the kalpakkam township had to leave for Nagercoil. 2000. Sun TV was showing some gruesome pictures of the death and devastation. A sad day for the human race.

At the end of the day, I asked ‘how was the day?’ to myself. A Birthday, good chat with relatives, earthquake, first movie with a good friend, tsunami, college re-union. Though my mind says, ‘It was OK, given the tragedy’, but my heart says, ‘Badiya tha!!’

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